February 28, 2003

Serial Blogging to Keep a D...

Serial Blogging to Keep a Download Alive: Well, it looks like my last day of shared dial-up, which necessarily must end in a ho avoid being kicked out mid-load. This means I need to A) stay awake, B) serially link to various things.

Onward, then: Eric Neel offers advice on how to read the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue without offending the lady-friend. First suggestion -- go to the magazine rack, and slip it underneath one of the newsweeklies:

The key to this strategy is to have politicky phrases at the ready should anyone approach and ask what you're reading. You casually close the magazine, look them in the eye and say things like, "The inspection reports are still incomplete -- that's what worries me," or "There is a serious risk in ignoring the will of the people, don't you think?"
Also, there's the philosophy tack:
She says, "What do you see in those women?" You say, "It's an aesthetics thing. Like Kant talks about. It's the fundamental human affinity for curved lines and ideal forms. I look at these pictures as art historical texts, really, exemplars and echoes of what the great masters were after."

Posted by at February 28, 2003 01:20 AM
Comments

And there's always the honest/lecherous/romantic approach: "Oooo ... I'd like to see you in one of these string-sets, lady!"

Works best if you're Barry White or Ray from "Achewood," but also works if you've got a hot wife who likes to wear American-flag bikinis.

Posted by: Posted by at February 28, 2003 01:20 AM
Comments

And there's always the honest/lecherous/romantic approach: "Oooo ... I'd like to see you in one of these string-sets, lady!"

Works best if you're Barry White or Ray from "Achewood," but also works if you've got a hot wife who likes to wear American-flag bikinis.

Posted by: Ken Layne at February 28, 2003 10:32 AM

It's weird that women are ALWAYS threatened by other women. If it wasn't the swimsuit issue it would be the big brains issue of MENSA, the cutest pussy issue of AMERICAN CAT FANCIER, or something. It's genetic. They have to turn us into sneaky bastards so they can pick on us.

BTW a super model is the cheapest date on the planet. They eat next to nothing, drink nothing but water, and keep looking at themselves in reflective surfaces. A super model would never know what you are looking at because they always lolook classic". Try shit like that on a wife and she'll have a divorce attorney on retainer.

Posted by: Howard Veit at March 1, 2003 03:13 AM
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