Matt Welch

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All Contents
© 1986-2006

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Candidate Beatty Gives Vigorous Speech to Impotent Audience
Tabloid - September 30, 1999

New Utopia to Rise From the Sea!
Prince Lazarus Building Tax-free Island of Polygamy and Eternal Youth
Tabloid - December 9, 1998

Castro Cracks Down on Sex, Drugs, Rock
Vice Raids Nab One of the Last Remaining Original Revolutionaries
Tabloid - November 2, 1998

Nutty Paper Loses Fight for City's Cookies!
Judge Rules That Cookie Files Are Not Public Records
Tabloid - October 1, 1998

Where Are the New Stephen Cranes?
Writer/Lout Did More in 28 Years Than Anyone Does in a Modern Lifetime
Tabloid - September 11, 1998

Ugly Irwindale Is McPig of the Year!
SoCal's Filthiest Suburb Scarfs Twice as Many Big Macs as Any Other City
Tabloid - September 10, 1998

Nonsense Index Soars 141.06!
Profit-Flaking Jitters Rout New Infestors! Rally up as Drop Points to Weird!
Tabloid - September 4, 1998

Choose Your Horror
How to Maintain Outrage in a Tawdry Era
Tabloid - August 31, 1998

The Savage Lust for Business News
Reporters Now All Work for Fund Managers, Who Don't Bother to Read
Tabloid - August 14, 1998

Flesh-Eating Maggots Attack U.S.!
Carnivorous 'Screw-Worm,' With Insidious Ties to Nixon and CIA, Reappears in the South
Tabloid - August 10, 1998

Bus Tour of the New Economy
The Aesthetic Nightmare and Walking Dumb of the Silicon Valley
Tabloid - July 31, 1998

No Sheepskin, No Job, Loser!
Why Twain, Hearst, Mencken and I Couldn't Work for Today's Papers
Tabloid - July 13, 1998

Fear & Loathing at the Multiplex
Notes on a Hated Movie, and an 18-year-old's Eventful Encounter
With a Savage (and Influential) Southern Gentleman
Tabloid - May 27, 1998

Non-Political Dispatch From Havana
Self-censored Impressions of Communist Cuba, Sent by Illegal E-mail
Tabloid - February 24, 1998


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© 1986-2006; All rights reserved.